Monday, February 2, 2009

My apologies...

To those who rely on this blog for updates (I really had no idea how many of you there are!), I apologize that I have not updated in the past five days. I have really been in a funk these last few days and have just not had the mental energy to do so.

First of all, my dear, sweet grandmother passed away today. Thankfully, I was at Mom and Dad's house when the call came, and since Mom was busy with Dad, I took the call. I then broke the news to Mom, which I am sure I did badly, since I've never had to break that kind of news to anyone before. But Mom handled it with grace and she and Laura and I went to the nursing home to be with her and say goodbye before the gentleman from the funeral home got there.

While we were gone, Tim, Joyce Masoner, and the precious hospice nurse, Freda, were with Dad. According to Freda, Dad is "moving through the stages." I'm not sure exactly how quickly he is doing so, but she gives me the feeling that she thinks he might be moving at a quick pace. I really don't know. Things are much the same, though--Dad has some lucid moments, and some that are not so lucid. He is very difficult to understand, and incredibly weak.

Another note: many friends and family have expressed to me that they are grappling with whether or not to call to check up on Mom and Dad. They don't want to be a nuisance; neither do they want to seem unconcerned. Thank you for asking about this! Let me throw this out there--Mom is SO incredibly appreciative of how much everyone cares, but yes, the phone IS ringing off the hook! And of course it is emotionally draining for her to have to recount Dad's condition over and over again. So if you are a regular caregiver or someone who has been in and out, by all means, call. If you are just wanting to check in and see what's needed, please, call Laura or me. Laura can be reached at 423-559-1944 or 423-718-8990. I can be reached at 423-479-4839 or 423-650-5443. We will let you know if anything is needed and we will relay any messages on to Mom. You can also email me at holly@kesley.com. I only check my email about ten million times a day, so it will take me at most, oh, 30 seconds to get back to you. I REALLY hope that this doesn't sound harsh, but I'm just trying to keep Mom's stress levels as low as possible and the phone really does ring nonstop, which is hard when someone is trying to sleep.

I will post more about funeral arrangements for Mom-o tomorrow, when they are complete. We are looking at Saturday for the funeral, but we are still undecided on a visitation time. I can tell you that the visitation and funeral will take place at Heritage Funeral Home on East Brainerd Rd. in Chattanooga. More to come.

2 comments:

Stef said...

Thank you for posting this Holly. I've been wanting to talk to your mom for awhile now, but not knowing when is a good time, I have not called. I rely on these postings to keep me informed. Danny and I will be leaving Friday evening and heading that way for the funeral. I also wanted to ask about flowers, or is there something your mom would rather us do in lieu of flowers? Sue may be coming with us, I need to check with your mom to see if that would be ok, or if she'd rather she come another weekend. Talk soon,
Stef

Lydia said...

My condolences, Holly, on the loss of your grandmother - especially at this time. Your mother sounds like a real wonder coping with everything the way she is. And you are doing a beautiful job in creating a fortress of protection and peace around her. Bless each and every one of you in the days ahead.