Today has been a very long day. As I noted in my earlier post, Mark spoke to Gina, one of the pharmacists, and she called Hospice to make arrangements for some prescriptions. They did get those delivered, but in the process, Gina discovered that there was not a Hospice nurse scheduled to visit Daddy today, as we had thought. Gina informed them that they needed to arrange for that to happen. So the Hospice nurse did show up this morning, and she was absolutely wonderful, according to Mom, and stayed for hours. The decision was made to catheterize Daddy, since he is unable to remain stable on his feet.
Dad, however, seems unable to comprehend that he has been catheterized, no matter how many times you tell him. Therefore, he is still trying to get up out of bed to use the bathroom, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop him, so you just have to help him go.
Thankfully, my precious husband came to the rescue today. He had told me last night that he would go today to watch Dad so Mom could rest. He arrived at my parents' house around noon today and stayed until nearly 5:00 this afternoon. Mark hauled Dad in and out of that bed all afternoon long, back and forth to the bathroom, making sure Dad didn't fall. I am so amazingly blessed to be married to such an incredible man. What he did today for my father is the best thing he has ever done for me in our almost nine years of marriage. He gave Dad medicine, tried to explain about the catheter, and provided a shoulder for my mom to cry on. Through all of this, he wasn't even sure that my dad was really aware it was him. But after Mark finally left,
Dad asked for him, so obviously he knew.
My mother's best friend on this planet, Teresa Widner, came this afternoon to relieve her so she could sleep. Mom went to bed around 4:00 and last time I checked, has not woken up yet. I hope and pray she sleeps through the night.
The Hospice nurse said today that she does see some of "the signs" that the end is nearing. She stated that this next week is critical: if Daddy continues to go downhill over the next few days, then time is probably very, very short. If he levels out, so to speak, then we may have more time. At this point, I am a nervous wreck from worrying about Mom and watching Dad lose his dignity little by little. If you want the plain and honest truth, we are praying at this point for the end to come quickly for him, because this is no way for him to live, and we hate to see him suffer like this. Please pray that he can go to his eternal rest soon.
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5 comments:
Hello! :)
Your husband is awesome! Tell him I said thanks....he also missed me getting yelled at by dad :) Oh and Mom is awake now because Dad fell going to the bathroom...he hit his head but is ok.
Love you....
My dear Holly and Laura;
I read your blog and just had to share with you something that happened today to me. You may laugh or you may cry. Either way is good.
At this point with Joe's sister and brother and my Mother and your Dad there are days you just want to lash out at something or someone. God says a wise man keepeth silent. It just all seems so unfair and certainly hard to watch someone so dear in that condition. This person who is supposed to hold you and make it all better and now you find yourself holding him and attempting to make it better. God bless Mark for helping today and also Teresa. Yes, she is one in a million.
Some times that is hard. There are days when Joe and I get in the car and I have to ask him which hospital / nursing home are we headed to today. We have seen more than our share of hospital and nursing homes. It is so sad. It is sad that we can't do anything to make anyone of these people better. That is up to God.
Today I was driving to the pharmacy. We have been so busy with going here and there we have neglected to re-fill what we need to keep our bodies going. We just seem so unimportant. On the way there, there were two kids (my Dad would have called "punks") riding their bikes in the middle of the road. I slowed down so not to hit and when I slowly passed them, they both stuck their tongue out at me. Wow, I wanted to stop them both and say "Do you know what I am going through right now?" But they didn't and I didn't but when I got to the pharmacy they asked how I was. They were certainly not prepared to see a 62 yr. old break down in tears. While my head wanted to just hit something these sweet dear people just gave me a hug and let me cry. God was telling me to cool my anger and let God take care of it all.
I just can't imagine what you must be going through at such young ages. Yesterday, I spent many hours on email with two good friends who helped me laugh and smile some. Today I just cryed. Jim Henderson talked with me and said he wanted to stop by last Saturday after visiting Mother to see Doug but saw several cars and just didn't want to intrude. Please pass that along to your Mom and Dad.
I know this is rambling but if you guys want to lash out or ask why or get angry then call me and we will get angry and lash out together. I think God will understand if we decide to decide to do beforehand.
Jim Henderson did pass along something that meant so much to me to hear. He said everyday he told his Dad that he would see him tomorrow OR see him in Heaven. Freeman would respond "I'll be waiting for you." God, what a blessing Jim was to me today and he let me cry and he cried with me.
I love you guys and wish I could do something anything to help.
Just know you are loved and prayed about everyday.
Aunt Loretta
and Uncle Joe
I have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to be up there to help and there is no way. It is such an aweful feeling of helplessness that I have just sitting here in Florida getting updates. I want so bad to hold his hand, tell him I love him one last time and give him a really big hug. The thought of him being scared makes me nauseaus. I want to be by his side when he goes no matter how aweful it will be. These are the desires of my heart and are out of my reach. I am grateful for this blog and the emotional energy it takes for my sisters to write and keep us up to date. I can't call all day to get updates like I would like so thank the lord for technology. I pray daily, all day, that heavenly father will take him soon. I love my sisters and am grateful for all the help they are giving during this time. You will be blessed and though it is hard now you will look back and appreciate the opportunity you had to help our father pass on. I love u both and Debbie too. Love Tonia
Holly,
I am so sorry that you and your family are having to go thru this. I remember when hospice was called in for my dad. What a sad day and a blessing all at the same time. I have been where you are, it is such a hard road. I have to tell you that the Hospice nurses are amazing and will be there with you every step of the way. They are special people put here especially by God to help during this time. I know you hate to see your dad this way, as did I. Treasure these days with him, every hug, every kiss, everything....ugh..I am crying as I am writing this...maybe it is the pregnancy hormones. My dad did the same thing about the oxygen deprivation...and he had two HUGE liquid oxygen tanks. They can be showing 100% on the scale but stil feel that they can't breath. It can be so frustrating.
Please know that I am here for you if you need to talk to me. I know what you are going thru. I'm sure your nurse has already told you, but since they think the end is near....listen to him...he will tell you when it is time. My dad handn't been awake in days and all of a sudden he sat straight up and got out of bed...he said it's time to go, time to get on the road. My mother helped him back in the bed and a few hours later it was over. I will be praying for you for strength during this time.
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