Dad saw the oncologist this morning. I still do not know the full details of everything that was said (Mom gave it to me in a nutshell), so I will post more if there is more to add. The long and short of it is this: it is very much as I feared. The doctor said that barring an intervention from the Lord, this form of cancer is always terminal. Dad will have his first chemo treatment on Tuesday, followed by a second treatment 22 days later. The chemo is a "quality of life" issue, rather than an attempt at a cure, from what I understand. It helps in approximately 30% of cases. Those odds aren't encouraging, but it is what it is. There was good news to be had, and that is that Dad's liver is apparently functioning very well right now, despite the malignant lesions on it.
Mom and Dad did ask Dr. Johnson (the oncologist) about the worst-case scenario. He said that we may be looking at six to twelve months. In a way, that is actually a little bit of a relief, because Dad has been feeling SO badly lately that we were afraid they'd go in and the doctor would say he had only weeks left. Still, six to twelve months is still an incredibly short period of time. I am very much in shock and quite numb at this point. I feel emotionally drained and all I really want to do is crawl in bed for awhile. I am worried about Dad, about Mom, and about Emma and Dan. Kate and Luke are too young to know anything (that in itself is both sad and a blessing), but the time will come when Laura and I will have to explain this to Emma and Dan and I truly can't even fathom how I will do that. I don't want Dad to suffer, and I don't want to watch him go through chemo and lose his hair. I don't want to watch him waste away and turn yellow.
In short, I was never naive enough to think that my father would live forever, but I always thought I would have more time than this. Your prayers are still appreciated. Please pray for comfort for Dad, for wisdom for his doctor, and for peace and wisdom for Laura and me as we try to explain this to our kids. I worry about my other siblings' kids as well, but they are mostly older and more able to understand, and of course, since they all live far away, they only see Dad once or twice a year. I don't know if that matters, since I've never dealt with this kind of thing before, but I can't imagine that their attachment to him would be as strong as if they saw him practically every day, as Emma and Dan do.
Dad is hoping to feel well enough after chemo to take a trip (presumably to Louisiana). I don't know when that will be, but I am hoping to be able to go, too. Every moment is now precious.
Please continue to pray, and I will update more when I can.
About Me
- Holly
- I'm a 32-year-old wife, mom, high school teacher, and general purveyor of awesomeness living in Southeast Tennessee. I've been married to my best friend for eleven years and he's pretty much everything I could have asked for in a mate. I love my dude, my kids (Mini-Me, age 5 1/2; and The Small Redhead, age 3 1/2), the water, reading, singing, conservative/libertarian politics, photography, Facebook, and cooking, among other things.
Dad and Dan
Dad fishing with Dan in Destin. Oct. 10, 2007
5 comments:
You know when you are signing off Blogger there is that quick succession of recently-updated blogs that flash in the upper left-hand part of the box? I've clicked on one in the past. Just now I saw yours and the title caught my attention and so I clicked quickly before it flashed the next person's blog. I've read your posts and definitely will be praying for your dad and your family. My father wasn't in the picture past 3 weeks old so I can only imagine what this time is and will be for you.
I lost my mother to lung cancer in 2000. She was placed on hospice in February under the opinion that time was months, but she hung in there until the end of October. We live in the same town as her, and it looks as if you are nearby your folks as well. There are blessings in that, and also much stress. I aged during that time because I wasn't taking care of myself. I began yoga in those days and it was a huge help, but good sleep is such an issue when you are watching a parent fade away.
I wish you awareness. You are already doing a great thing for yourself and your family by starting a blog to deal with this time in your lives. Awareness is key. If you live in the moments, not looking back too much (painful) and not projecting into the future, then you will blessed with an awareness of the moments that will pull you through.
Dear Holly/Laura:
We will continue to pray for Doug and I also have a prayer chain that is praying also. As God is the ultimate Healer none of us knows but God just how long we will have our precious ones here on this earth. I do believe in miracles and they happen everyday. I spoke with Debbie tonight and I really praise Debbie and Doug for their wonderful attitude. I would sincerely hope that you will allow your children to enjoy every single minute with Doug without going into much detail to which at their tender age would be meaningless to them. I think we all must pray and pray that God's Will be done. I am praying for a miracle and I am hoping that Doug will be with us for a very long time. I refuse to let negative thoughts rule my time or memeories with someone so precious to us all. This is a time that we all will be tested as to our faith in God for a cure.
Thank you for the updates and I will continue to read about good things and continued prayer for Doug.
You have to remember too that this is very difficult for everyone and I would pray too for Doug's children who are older. You must be there for them and to share your everyday experiences with them. Distance does not make loving someone any less. Yes, you are very fortunate to be able to see Doug as often as you can, so you must understand that all sibblings love their Dad just as much as you do. Distance may help only with not seeing the everyday struggles but just as you love your Dad very mush so do we all. I pray that you will find the courage to help your brothers and sisters during this time and that God will show you the right words to say to help them understand that we are all praying for a miracle.
Hi, Holly. I am so sorry your dad and your family is going through this. I don't know what to say or do other than let you know that I am praying for healing for him from the Great Physician. I will also pray for you and your family as you all cope with this. May God give you strength and peace.
Aunt Loretta, I think you misread what I wrote--I was talking about my older siblings' KIDS. Of course we all love Dad the same regardless of how far away we live. I was referring to their kids who don't see him very often. Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words. This has been SUCH a difficult few weeks.
I love you guys and I will continue to pray. Please send my love to your Mom. Thanks for keeping us all updated.
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