There is never a good time for bad news.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008
There is never a good time for bad news.
Let me start by saying that I have led what many would call a charmed life. Past my grandfather's death (which I experienced at age four), I have had nothing whatsoever in my life that could be labeled as "trying" or "heartbreaking." Until today.

Today we got the results of my dad's liver biopsy, which he had last Thursday. It came back exactly as I expected--cancer. There, I said it. The big "C."

As of now, we know virtually nothing. We don't know where it originates (although it looks like it is neither lung nor colorectal). The biopsy results seem to point to an origination point in the bile ducts rather than the liver itself, but again, we don't know anything for certain yet.

I have been waiting until we had a definite diagnosis to do my freak-out, but now, even though I have a definite diagnosis, I still can't freak out until I have more information.

I don't even know how to handle this information. As I said, I have nothing in my life to which to compare this. I got the news at lunch today (at work) surrounded by five colleagues, all of whom knew exactly what was happening. There's nothing like getting a cancer diagnosis with five pairs of eyes watching you. I did a lot of shaking, but not a lot of crying, because I was afraid if I lost it, I wouldn't be able to get it together again in time to go back to class. So I am still holding it all in, barely keeping it together.

I guess all I can do at this point is ask for prayer. So please keep my mom and dad in your prayers--my dad as he deals with each step in this process and my mom as she endeavors to take care of both my father and her mother.