Decisions

Dad's oncologist, Dr. Johnson, called him this morning. He spoke to his friend at Vanderbilt and found that yes, there is a study at Vanderbilt that Dad would be eligible for, due to the fact that his liver is continuing to function well. He did, however, say that the treatment is extremely rough. Dad thought for a moment and said no, thank you. He also told Dr. Johnson he had decided against opting for the second type of chemo. Dr. Johnson told him that he honestly didn't blame him.

When Mom got home, Dad told her he had made some decisions without her and he hoped she didn't mind. He told her that he had decided against further treatment. Therefore, all that was left was to call Hospice. Today was the kind of day no one should ever have to endure. My mother has dealt today with two calls to Hospice for two different patients--her husband and her mother.

The long and short of it is that Hospice will be coming to Mom and Dad's house on Monday to discuss things (like getting a hospital bed, as Dad is getting sick of his recliner). The Hospice nurse will come to the hospital tomorrow to sign papers for my grandmother's care. Hospice will care for her for three days at the hospital, and if she makes it for three days, they will then evaluate whether she is well enough to be moved to a nursing home. At any rate, we are not looking at more than a few days more, according to the doctors.

I am still completely numb, to be honest. As I said previously, it is really like I am discussing someone else's family. I absolutely do not blame Dad in the least for the decision he has made, and yet, I haven't quite accepted the fact that I likely do not have more than a few more months with my father. It is real and yet it isn't. I've been spending a lot of time on the phone with my brother; I find comfort in talking things out with him. As a child I adored my older brother, and as an adult I have found him a better friend than I ever thought possible; the bonus is that he is an equally good friend to my husband. Laura and I have grown closer through all of this, too, with both of us trying to help Mom as much as possible with Mom-o.

I do ask for continued prayers for all of our family members who do not live nearby. Dad's family is spread out all over the South, with people in Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, and Florida, as well as Tennessee. It is difficult for everyone, especially his mother, who is making her second trip up this weekend in as many weeks. Please pray for peace and easy travel for all of those who are trying to make their way up here to spend time with Dad.